Memories in the Making: Peace with a Paint Brush, Palette and Paper

Memories in the Making is for me a journey of learning to sit, be still, and share flow time with other folks seeking peace with a paint brush, palette and paper.

I have never been one who painted, knew how to or was interested in learning. However, as part of Connect to Culture, a program through Alzheimer’s Orange County, I decided to expose my husband to the in-person, on-site adventure a couple of years ago. I went once myself before I actually took him, “trying it out” to see if it was an activity he might like and participate in willingly and beneficially.

The next couple of months I brought him and we both had fun being with the other attendees and their care partners. We sure did not think our paintings were anything to write home about…but Ben, our leader, and other assistants made each of us feel good about what we had done. Beyond that, the quiet music and encouragement of our progress was so warm, peaceful and we wanted to do it again!

Then the pandemic limited all in person activities. I slowly began to discover some Zoom support but Jon just could not relate to Zoom activities at all. Over time during the pandemic, I decided to pick up my brushes, palette and paper and try the quiet activity that had brought me such peace and joy at Memories in the Making’s in person sessions. I loved what I felt, the quiet spirit and flow time moved on to paper, even if the representations were not quiet like my “intentions”. No matter, I loved the quietness of the moments slipping by. Jon and family and friends began to compliment my work and I could see some progress, too.

So, one Thursday when Memories in the Making was meeting on Zoom I decided to attend on my own while Jon watched TV nearby…I didn’t know if a care partner was invited to participate without their PWD, but I didn’t think it would hurt to ask. I was welcomed with a genuine warmth and I’ve participated as often as our schedule has allowed since. I was very delighted, recently, to hear the announcement that Memories in the Making is officially opening its arms to care partners, even if the PWD isn’t participating. So, I’ll be a regular with my Memories in the Making and putting my own memories onto paper through water colors, pens, pencils, whatever I want to try.

Jon has been painting now some at the Alzheimer’s Center he attends in Huntington Beach and has started to experiment and enjoy both the process and the product! I have stuffed his Christmas stocking with a new palette, new water color papers and new brushes! I can’t wait to see his expression…and to invite him to Zoom with me in January, if he will. If not, he knows that, while he is nearby, I’ll be there painting and listening to quiet classical guitar music, inspired by Ben’s sharing of either a famous painter/painting or trying my hand at something I’ve wanted to try myself.

One of the cornerstones of beneficial mind care as we age, I’ve heard, is learning something new. Painting is new for me and I am so very grateful to have the complete welcome of AlzOC to come along as a care partner, whether my loved one with dementia finds this an interest or not.

Before and after Jon and I retired from our respective careers we lead very busy and productive lives. Jon was a career FBI Special Agent stationed across the US with our family in tow for many years and finishing his last 10 years in the FBI Lab as a document examiner supervisory position. His was a fascinating career with the FBI after service in the US Army. He retired from the FBI in 1994.

I was a bilingual teacher in the early years of my career and a later a high school administrator here in Orange County. Accompanying Jon everywhere he was stationed through the FBI was not a hardship for me since both he and I are what is known as “military brats”. Both dads were career military so we both lived all over the world and the US as we grew up. We do have a framed plaque in our home that says “Home is where the FBI sends you”.

After retiring we both volunteered through our church and with ministries involving homelessness. We didn’t feel as much “retired” as we felt “re-fired” as in “refired up” to be useful and help others.

Jon was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2017, though family and friends saw changes in his cognition and behavior before, not knowing or understanding why.

The first place we sought help and education was AlzOC and their programs have been our strong undergirding of information and knowledge. There is not one program offering I have found more beneficial than others since some are educational while some of simply delightfully fun.

The Connect to Culture programs are especially remarkable as they bring an element of joy to us. The Timeless Melodies program at the Bowers Museum is also particularly fun as we can invite guests and learn and laugh together.

There is something for everyone and every interest through AlzOC and we both could not be any more thankful for the wide variety of available choices of learning and enjoyment. From the very beginning of this precious journey we have found only complete support, with staff and volunteers reaching out to come alongside us to help, guide, and educate us.

Dee and Jon Ransom