This week’s question: 

I feel so guilty for considering placement for my loved one. I promised I would keep her in her home, but I’m at the point where I need more help! What should I do?  

This is a common promise made by family members, though it is not always one that can realistically be kept.  Remember that Alzheimer’s is a disease, and one that often requires professional assistance as it progresses in an individual. Sometimes safety concerns (yours or theirs) may make placement outside the home necessary. There is no shame in making sure that your loved one receives the care they need, even if it is outside the home. Our Helpline can help you explore options, either with regard to home care, adult day care, or placement, and when the time is “right” for you.


Here are 5 things to remember when considering placement, that will hopefully ease the guilt off your shoulders – 

  1. Alzheimer’s is a serious condition that requires a lot of attention, that not everyone can give. This is easy to forget this because the disease symptoms may not always be visible.
  2. If your loved one had any other disease that required medical attention and professional care, you would ensure that they received it. Alzheimer’s is the same.
  3. By letting others take care of day-to-day care needs, you will be able to go back to fulfilling the familial role (son, daughter, spouse, etc…) that only you can fill.
  4. You did not cause your loved one’s illness or age-related cognitive decline – and without you, they would not have had the support and company they have depended on, thus far.
  5. At the end of the day, you cannot control or live life for others. Appreciate that you tried your best in a difficult situation, and everything that lies outside of your abilities can be let go.


Have questions concerning Alzheimer’s, dementia, or other memory issues? We have answers.

As part of our array of programs and services for local families affected by Alzheimer’s and dementia, Alzheimer’s Orange County offers a free telephone helpline to answer any questions you may have about the disease. Whether you are someone experiencing dementia or other memory problems, a caregiver, or simply have questions about the disease, our experts are here to provide you with the information, resources, and advice that you need.

Our very own Helpline Specialists join us on our blog series to answer the most frequently asked questions that they encounter from caregivers and their loved ones, as well as their solutions to common issues and difficulties you may be experiencing.

Have a question about Alzheimer’s & dementia, but don’t see it here? Be sure to contact Alzheimer’s Orange County’s Helpline at 844-HELP-ALZ (844-435-7259) and we will help. To see the other programs and resources that Alzheimer’s Orange County can offer to you and your loved ones, visit our website at